margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
