I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
