That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
