What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
