i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
