Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
