so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
