Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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