No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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