I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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