did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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