I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
