Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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