Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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