What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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