My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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