me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
