I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize