I wish my penis had an off switch
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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