The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize