When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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