yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
