Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize