tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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