you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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