also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
