So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just had sex bonerless
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
