I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
