Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
