fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
