A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
