So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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