I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
