He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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