I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
