Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
