He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
