just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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