Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
