The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
