woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Michael Bay diarrhea
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
