Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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