Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
