careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
