I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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