So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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