OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
