Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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