I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
