great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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