How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize