What did we do last night that was yellow?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
