Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
