went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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