Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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