where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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