i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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