and next time when you feel me up, do it right
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
