Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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