Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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