the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
