marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
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