Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
