It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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