Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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