he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You are a genius and a whore.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
