I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize