Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
