Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Are we still banned from the library?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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