you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
