new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
