I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
