I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
